Question

What do you believe about divorce and remarriage? If someone is divorced, is it right for them to remarry?

Answer

Dear friend,

What I believe isn’t important but what does God’s Word teach.  From what I understand the Scriptures to teach on this, I conclude the following,

a.  Marriage is for life. What God has joined together, let not man separate!  Therefore we better think seriously before we enter into marriage.  There is not backing out of this relationship unless God ends it with death.  This taught in Gen. 2:24 with the Lord’s commentary on this verse in Matt. 19:6.

b. God allows a divorce only in the case of an adultery.  The sin of adultery is the most serious breach of the marriage intimacy.  Because this is so sensitive, the Lord leaves it up to the individual who has been betrayed, whether to continue the marriage.  In no way does the Lord encourage the divorce but He allows it knowing how difficult this breach of trust is.  Adultery is as an act of sexual intimacy with either male or female other than your spouse.  This deed is ground for divorce as taught in Matt. 19:9.  In this case, the innocent spouse is free to remarry.

c. A marriage ended for other reasons than adultery is an unbiblical divorce.  Divorces have always taken place in this broken world but are in the last decades on a dramatic increase.  This hasn’t bypassed the church doors and sadly many church members are involved in unbiblical divorce situations.  The bottom line, however, remains that Jesus clearly has stated that “except it be for fornication” (Matt. 19:9) a marriage cannot be broken.  Therefore those who are involved in an unbiblical divorce are not free to re-marry.  If you read Mark 10:11-12 you notice that Jesus didn’t refer her to the putting away of the wife because of an act of adultery.  That is the only ground on which He could accept the dissolution of the marriage.

These three statements will not provide every answer. There are so many complicated stories to which there can’t be done full justice in such a short discussion.  One book I like to recommend is Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible, by Jay E. Adams.  It does justice to the various complexities which are faced in this area of discussion.   If you can’t find this book locally and you live in NZ, I will be glad to lend it out to you.

Warmly,
Pastor Vergunst